Evil snowplow

There once a small house located on a small country road in a small little town. In this tiny little house  lived an "old" woman with her two children and a her small grandchild. The woman worked at the school where the town people sent their children to be educated and the two children also worked. It seemed there was always somebody coming and going form this house until this one stormy winter when the snow just kept coming and blowing and drifting until the small town became buried under all the snow.
It had snowed for so many days that the town had to close the schools and the people could not get to work. They had been promised that the snow would end soon and that the big yellow truck with its flashing lights and big snow pushing plow would clear the way for the town's people to drive again on the country roads.
Finally the snow stopped and the people rejoiced. Soon the sounds of shovels scraping the sidewalks and driveways filled the air. Children were sledding and the old folks were reminiscing about the days when these few feet of snow would not have stopped them from doing their business or trekking to school; shoveling a path as they went. "People these days are too soft and kids need to learn to walk and depend on a bus to get them there;" seemed to resound in the air.
The "old" woman wondered if they were right about this for now the kids had missed too many days and some of the things learned in the past would need to taught again. She kept shoveling along the drive as she wondered when they could make up these days and how her little car would make it down the road to run the errands that needed to be done. After hours of shoveling the heavy white slush that accumulated in her drive the road was seen. She sadly shook her head for all that was there was a wide path of slush and ice on top of the pavement. Her appointments would have to wait for the hero of the day seemed to have forgotten them again. She could cars on the other roads traveling along and she wondered why they had been rescued and not those on her road. It had been days since she had heard the roar of the beast clearing the way and she needed to refill the pantry. She went inside, patience wearing thin and the fridge so bare. Then what to her joy did her ears hear- the sound of the roar of the beast coming to clear the way. She thanked the Lord as she ran to the window to watch with glee only to be dismayed as to what she witnessed.
Blades high up so as not to touch the ground the yellow truck rushed right past her house. The slush went splashing so high up and the ice crunched under it bit wheels creating a mess but he was not plowing just making a pass. He has to come back she thought for he can see we need him to plow here. A few minutes later he did come back and this time the blades were down and creating a path. As he came down towards her she was overcome with joy but then she realized that he was pushing the mass of snow towards her drive. "NO! STOP!" But on he went leaving a berm of 48 inches. The evil snowplow had plowed her in. She sat and waited in disbelief hoping he would come back and take it away.
Soon darkness was settling in the sky and the silence of the night told her he was gone. She called to the kids to grab the shovels. The night was spent shoveling and soon exhaustion overcame them. They settled to bed with hunger and coldness as companions.
The next morning the awoke to see the snow had come again.

What a week

I am glad this week is almost over. It has been one of victories and trials for many of my friends and family. The weather has created havoc for many with frozen or burst pipes. As I am writing this one of my dear friends has over an inch of water in her basement, which sadly is where she has all of her family heirlooms and antiques. Yesterday her day started with her kitchen flooding and the plumber having to come but sadly the problem unknown to them was not just isolated to their and as they were going to bed last night discovered the mess in the basement.
My family also had a dear member pass away- it is so hard to say die- I prefer saying went home to our Heavenly Father. She was an awesome lady. I will always remember listening to her yodeling around the campfire as a kid. Her voice was so awesome and I loved listening to her sing. It is times like this that I hate being away from my family and glad that we are moving closer to them soon.
With the baby we are learning to celebrate the small things. Seriously today we rejoiced that she had a bowel movement; she has been constipated for over a week. The doctor assured us yesterday that this was a normal thing at her age but we still rejoiced when she finally had one.
My son is trying to get on the mend from Bronchitis but sadly I think my daughter and i are now trying to get sick which causes more concern  for the baby.
Last night I tried having the baby sleep in bed with me for her mom was feeling sick. I gave up trying to sleep at 3:30 a.m. for she is a squiggle worm and missed being in her own bed. I am now feeling very heavy eyed but have a full day that needs to have many things accomplished.
Mother Nature is still testing us with the beautiful blue skies that makes us thing it should be warm instead of below zero. We received over 24 inches of snow in 48 hours and then went into a deep freeze. I remember last week when the ground was bare of all snow and was watching the tulips, daffodils, and crocus popping their heads out of the ground with the promise of spring coming soon.
One would think that with all that is happening this week that I would have something creative to write about but it seems that I am just on survival mode these days. The homework needs to be done, Praxis tests need to be studied for, and the house is looking like a storm has blown through it. I hope next week goes better and am grateful the Lord has given me these times the good and the trials. Have a great weekend all.

calendar mix-up?

I am thinking somehow that Mother Nature's calendar has been mix-upped and changed back to December or January. I awoke this morning to over 5 inches of snow and now we have over 12 inches with more coming. According to my calendar it is late February and we should be planning our gardens; at least mentally. I laughed yesterday as I read some of my friends' post (including my own mother's) about how they were trying to rake their yards with the ground still frozen. Today we are shoveling snow. It is beautiful but also throwing some major kinks into my life. I am worried that if it continues to snow we will not have school again tomorrow and we are already over the allotted amount so we will have to make up today as it stands but another day or two and there comes some major problems with extended school year and the start of the summer program.
It is depressing watching the weather report and seeing a cell that is stationary over our area and that it can stay for two more days to be followed by bitter cold. The normal average temperature for this time of year is a high in the low forties and the low in the 20's and we will be lucky to see the high in the teens and the lows in the below zero range.
No I am not trying to depress anyone just wondering how it is that as I am writing this the sun is shining and the snow is still falling. It is so bright and spectacular of a sight. It reminds me of one of my favorite things- the first snowfall of the season when all is clean and seems so peaceful. we all know the feeling we have when awake and can just sense the peace. Anticipation of the holidays will soon be coming and there is a sense of cheerfulness that fills the air. Yet we have already celebrated these and the others that follow. Now it is time for Spring and buying of Easter dresses and dreaming of mowing the yard, digging in the warm dirt as we plant seeds, pulling weeds. Oh my poor little tulips that have already poked their heads out of the ground-will you survive the bitter cold?
Will someone please let Mother Nature know that someone played a joke on her and fix her calendar. Winter has had its fun with record snow in November and it does not need to be greedy with setting new records this month. Spring deserves its time and we all appreciate the glorious splendor that this white stuff can create but we want the green and all the colorful blossoms that brighten the day. The birds and bees are ready with anticipation of the sweet nectar from the flowers. Snow blowers are ready to be put away in the back of the garage and the mowers are wanting to be tuned-up. Students are wanting to return to school to learn the new lessons their teachers have spent hours preparing and not have to spend the time reviewing from this long break.
If you had a choice what would you choose at this time - give up some days during spring break or go longer in June? Why?
Hmm will be interesting to see if anyone reads this and responds.

Random thoughts

I have been pondering what to write about for hours now and all the random thoughts that have wondered around have not taken root into anything worth writing about. My daughter told me I should write about the cake that is baking in the oven for tomorrow's Bible study or how her poor baby is constipated. Does anybody have a good remedy for a 6 week old constipated baby? I feel so sorry for her; she is in so much pain and discomfort some of the time and at others just smiles and coos  like nothing is wrong. My son thought I should write his obituary for he thinks that he is dying from the nasty cold that has taken over him. I am feeling torn between being concerned for him and the baby. He is confined to his room so he doesn't get the baby sick. My question is why is it the older boys/men get the the bigger the babies they become when they are sick? When us women get sick we are still expected to keep the household running, take care of the kids, go to work but when they get sick they crawl under the covers and act like they are so helpless. Are all men like this or just the ones that have been in my life?
OK maybe I should just tell you all about the cake but since it is a new creation I won't in case it doesn't turn out right and then it will be a mad  dash to the bakery tomorrow.
It seems so many things are hinging in the balance lately in my life and I am not sure why. I have been so exhausted lately that sleep is the only thing I have managed to accomplish this long weekend. I really needed to get the paper done that is due and the articles read. It seems I have several major assignments due Friday as well as the dentist and a doctors appointment and yet I have not completed any of them. Great now I sound like I am whining but I am just seeing how many random thoughts my brain has in these 15 minutes; hoping this will help clear it out so I can concentrate on getting other things accomplished.
Well the good news is I am running out of random thoughts but I am not sure if I will get other things accomplished but will give it the "old college try" - pun intended.

They are there
I know they exist
Why are you hiding from me
Can't you sense my pain
The desperation of desire
longing to be fulfilled
I have waited for so long
It won't hurt, I promise.
Please come to me
I will find you eventually
The search is only prolonging the inevitable
I am aroused to continue the hunt
Ever searching
Doors closing and opening
mind racing
which pathway shall I take next
hear my pleas
Come out! Come out!
I need you -
Words

Almost there

This week I have been receiving emails telling me I need to plan for the future and the paperwork involved is overwhelming to me. How can I think beyond getting the papers and other assignments that are requiring more time than I seem to have and think about my future? What classes will you be taking for the next few semesters? I don't know I am still dealing with this one! Do I know where I want to internship at? NO! I have no idea where I will be living! When do you plan on graduating and with what minors or endorsements? I am sure I have a file somewhere that has all this listed but I can't find my desk right now and my head is feeling like it wants to explode.
I am trying not to be stressed butI will admit that lately fear of the unknown has been creeping in and I am not enjoying the feeling at all. To top it off my children and I have been wrestling with a major decision that can affect some of these issues I am having to deal with. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! My friends are beginning to question my sanity that is for sure.
I am a person that believes He has plans for all of us and we are to believe that everything happens for a reason. The other day I was talking to one of my Pastors and I asked him how I can tell if this major decision is being made for selfish reasons or is He really sending down a new path? I am not one to question Him but will question myself at times. I was told to look for doors being closed or opened and of course to be prayer and meditation to hear the words. I am trying and it seems that doors are closing in some areas and opening in others. I am praying that the decisions I am making are being done with his guidance.
OK I am feeling calmer as I write this. I am almost there. There is a reason we go through things. We must at times bear the tribulations so that we can enjoy the fruit at the end. I will survive this- I am almost there. Hang in there-We are almost there! Almost there- but where is there?

Have you ever watched people walk on slippery surfaces such as icy parking lots or wet floors. Lately I became aware how humorous it can be to watch people as they try to carefully navigate their way across an icy arena. There are some major difference and one of my hypothesis is that age and perhaps wisdom play a major role in how people make it to their destination with their body and pride intact.
Let's start with the very young ones that seem to have no fear; they just race across the parking lots or whatever icy surface they are zooming across as their poor frantic mother turns deathly pale as she scrambles to catch the child and praying that she does not fall on her bottom.
The next group is older children. Kids as they get older seem to get more adventurous as they skate across the slippery surface. It seems as if skates just magically appear on their feet or they imagine this has happened for they love to see how far they can slide without picking up their feet. They have no fear and zealously slide across the parking lots as if they are performing in a skating event. Even when they fall they are able to pick themselves up and shake it off, laughing as if it was all part of their plan.
The ones though that I find interesting are the adults. For most of us we trepidally walk across the ice as if we are walking on egg shells. We seem to have a built in fear that if we take a wrong step we will fall and become like Humpty-Dumpty. My sister-in-law has a walk that I call the turtle walk for she walks so slow and and carefully thinks about each step as if there is land mines waiting to take her down. She even has the chains for the bottom of her shoes but still does not trust them to keep her on the upright.
We all as we get older have been known to take a spill or two. The bruises and cracks int he bones are reminders of how unforgiving these slippery grounds can be this time of the year. The glistening beckoning of carefree skating across them loses its appeal as we just hope we do not land on our rears as we attempt to make it to our destinations. Yet it seems the more cautious we become the more we fall. Those that just go about the terrain of ice and snow as if they don't have a care or even cheirsh the hazards it presents as an adventure do not worry about the dangers or aches that will follow as their body slams into the ground. They make it to the entrance with zest and in fast time while the rest slip and slide praying for the soft landing if we lose our not so sure footing. My question for myself is how do I get back the zealous carefree attitude of the youth as slid around on the ice perhaps saving myself from the pitfalls of worrying about making it there so much and just be able to enjoy the journey of getting there?

Valentine's Day

Since my divorce I have been very cynical about this holiday. In my opinion it was just a holdiay created by card companies, flourist, and candy companies to remind those of us that are single how pathetic and lonely our lives are and how great it is to be in a relationship. To be honest even when I was married I never really bought into this day for I feel that if someone loves you it should be expressed throughout the year and not just on a holiday and buying all that stuff to say "I love you" was really a waste of money. Okay maybe I just bought into my exhusband's excuses for not celebrating the day even though his attitude has changed with is new wife.
I have since changed my mind on most of my cynicism about today and it was a card company that changed it. I was watching a Hallmark movie recently and the ad that caught my attention was about Valentine's Day. Basically the ad, if anyone has seen it, was about how today is not for saying "I love you" but "I love us!" Wow! That statement made me realize that is what I wanted to say to my friends and family that I love our relationship and Valentine's Day was a good day to do so. I try to tell my friends and family that I love them and how grateful I am to have them in my life and why not say that on a day marked for love.
I started calling those that special to me last night and today telling them just how much they mean to me. My daughter who is probably just as cynical as I am about this day for her own reasons has changed her mind somewhat also. She brought me flowers and a "Thank you" gift for helping her and being there for her and her baby, she picked today because she wanted to say how much she loves "us" also. She is 22. Surprise!She made me a home-made Valentine card-I will keep this one forever just like some of the other home-made cards and gifts the kids made in elementary school.
I guess today has new meaning to me from pne of being a day to spend money to tell your love one ( mainly a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse) that you love them to telling anyone that is special to you that you love what they are to you  in your life.
Take the time to tell all those in your life "I love US!" Hallmark I am sure won't mind.

My class

I am "teaching" a class every day that is suppose to be an ISAT\AGP class. The reason the word teach is in quotation marks is because I am really jsut babysitting these wonderful students most of the time. Okay maybe babysitting is not the correct word more like supervising and advicing when they need it. I do enjoy my small gorup of kids though and we are forming a bond that is allowing me to get a even better sense of how to connect in different ways.
When I was first approached about this position it was to be approximately 10-12 seniors that have not passed the ISATs and needed to take this computer based course as part of an alternative graduation plan (AGP). This group of students were to include special edcuation students as well as general education students. I was apprehensive at first and as I attended the computer training courrses (if anyone knows me they know that I am not a technology person) and the meetings with administrators and others. Class was getting ready to start and I was not feeling prepared but as the first couple of week have gone by I am feeling more comfortable.
What amazes me though and worries me is that the number of students that are in this class is now 1/3 of what I was originally told. Yes, you did the math right I now have 4 students and 1 has not been here all week. What does this mean - well more meetings for me and some confusion. Studnets have been transferred to others or something; which I will admit confuses me for this is the only time it is available and I am one of the few in the district to have this training or so I thought . However, I am still enjoying it. I am still practicing my classroom mangement skills and making sure I follow through. I have conferences with the students at least once a week to talk about progress. Iam also getting practice of having consultations and collaborating with others.
DO I feel it is really preparing me for having a real classroom of myown inthe future - maybe. If luna has his way I have a sense of how hard it is for students to learn from a course on the computer. He keeps forgetting the human factor of teaching but I do not want to openthat canof worms so for now I will sign off for I have written past the time we are to but then again I usually do.

Heros

I thought I had nothing ot write about today until I read a discussion post in one of my classes. I read a comment made about special education teachers spending most of their time doing paper work and needed to teach real classes at times. It made me mad and then I realized that maybe I read it wrong. I am not sure but it mad eme realize how at times people can misunderstand the written word or at least take things the wrong way. I am sure this person did not mean to insult special education teachers in general and as I read others responses I got the impression I was not the only one that took a slight offense as to what was said.
I am sure that to some a special education teacher might seem like a paper pusher and have it easy because of the smaller class sizes but they are so much more. They do teach and also have a mountain of paper work but hey are also so much more to so many people, especially their students and the families they work with.
I know that the teachers I work with put in so many hours after school and on weekends that they work 7 days a week and seem to never get caught up. They do this because they care; as do all educators. They are not the bearers of bad news or come into a classroom to tell the general education teacher how to teach. They collaborate and consult with the teachers so that students can get the education they deserve and need.
I wonder if perhaps this person has had some negative experiences or perhaps very little experience. I hope that this person does not take offense to my defending these teachers or their dedication.
I did vent to my family and felt that a more mellow venting here would help. It has helped.

Wrapped

A few days after my granddaughter was born a friend of mine texted me and asked me if I was wrapped? At first I was not sure what she was referring to for that is all it said.  "Are you wrapped?" So I said "Yes." Then a few hours later as I was holding this precious bundle I knew what she meant and yes I was completely wrapped- my heart was so full of love for her and my life seemed complete again.
How can one little baby get so many people wrapped so that they are willing to drop everything just to be with her? No, I am not that bad; I still do my homework, go to work, and spend time away from her. To be honest though I am not the only one though that is "wrapped." My parents, who live only 80 miles away could not come see us; by us I mean me and the kids, but maybe 2-3 times a year for the last thirteen years have been here more times in the last month I am amazed. They are wrapped too.
They arrived this morning to take this little bundle and her mother to their house for an extended visit. Until lately the visits are around only a few hours. They quickly informed me in their not so humorous way that they were not bringing them back on the anticipated day. My daughter looked at me with that quiet reassuring way of hers that said "We will be back. Don't worry Mom." The look on their faces as they seen how much stuff had to go with them for this visit was not a deterrent as hoped.  They have been looking forward to this visit as much as I have been dreading them leave. Already the house seems empty and too quiet. My arms feel empty and yes I feel a little teary as I am thinking about them.
"Am I wrapped?" Yes I am. I do not mind sharing my family-really I don't. I am the grandmother and I should relish this time to have my life back as it was but as I look around all I see is how my house should be filled with her little grunts and groans. The swing should be going and my ears should be listening for her.
I love my parents and am glad they are getting to spent this time with the baby. I am grateful for the time to get a chance to get my homework done and hopefully ahead. I have so much to do so I should get to it.
Time to wrap my mind around the things to be done.

Thursday

I had attempted to write this blog earlier; actually I was jsut about complete with it when suddenly it disappeared from the screen. The atosave had not saved it and time was running out in the class that I was supervising (yep I was on the net while at work). I should have felt guilty and maybe it was a sign that I should not be breking the rules but it is Thursday which in my world is a Friday to most people and it was the end of the day so while not technically the weekend yet I felt it was close enough. Silly me for trying to get ahead.
This week has been full of new adventures in my job and I think I surprised a few people; hopefully erasing some doubts they might have about my ability to do the job. The job is really not that big of a deal but will look great on the rsume and it is a refreshing way to end my day. What is the job? I supervise a samll group f seniors while they do PLATO, a computer based education program based on the content standards and ISATs. I am still learning about the program but I think it has some good qualitiies and some not so great  but the goal is to have these students complete the work so they can graduate.
I have attended meetings and watched a group of people come in with their own agendas and leave without changing their minds. Some with open minds and some like me not sure what I was going to learn and even more confused when I left.
There was also the issue of dealing with those that thought they should have the job or at least that I should not. I have taught a similar class a couple of years ago with some success and it was not computer based so I had the confidence and backing from those that knew that I can do this. One of those that wanted the job seemed ot try ot make it a little difficult for me to get this class running but surprised me today by saying he was glad I am now and how impressed he was with my organziation skills and the how smoothly the first week went. I am hoping this means he will continue to cooperate with me for he is also one of my supervisors for this project.
I will admit the first day was a little intimidating for me but I acted like this was my first day of teaching and told the students the expectations and procedures, let them ask questions, and it went well. I am getting ot know these kids and making connnections. It so amzing we have been in classes together with me as a para and them as students and we are connecting together in different ways. I realize how different it is being the one in charge. It is fun having this small group of kids. They know I want them to succeed and they want to graduate so we are on the same page.
I am exhausted this week and have meetings all day tomorrow so it not my usual day off. Yes our school district has 4 day weeks so instead of TGIF we have SHIT (sure happy it's Thursday) . I have come ot depend on having Fridays off so I can do a majority of my school work completed or edited, the housework done and all the other chores/errands that have been neglected throughout the week. I am not sure what will happen when I get  a job teaching and it is Monday-Friday. I am sure I will adjust though.
I hope this wasn't a ramble piece but quite truthfully I do not have much else going on now. Just a new little fork in the road of the wonderful journey of my life. Is this contentment or boredom I am feeling these days? I am settling for contentment and hoping it is not boredom for I am comfortable with it as it drifts along.

Cole

A year and half ago on a warm spring day a surprise was discovered in our garage. My children came into the house whispering in a conspiratoral voices that immediately sent "mom alert" up to full force. I aske dhtem what they were talking about and they immediately denied anything and sent each other glances that spoke volumes that the little stinkers were up to no good. I casually asked  how the garage cleaning was coming along since that was what they were suppose to be doing. "Fine! Done!" came the quick responses. I decided that I had better go check on this myself so out i went. At first I did not see anything amiss and the garage looked in good order so I put all suspicions aside.
Later that day after my kids made several more "inconspicuous" trips out to the garage I knew something was up and started my own investigation into the matter. Finally I had the proof I needed- a strange cat noise that sounded like it was dying or at least in extreme pain. I quickly went out to investigate but was not as fast as the children. There they both stood trying to look like angels and that I was just hearing things in my old age. Soon the noise echoed amongst the walls again and thy could no longer deny the existence of a strange cat being in the garage.
Timidly out straggled a black cat that looked like he had gone a few rounds in the boxing ring and had not seen a decent meal in days. One look at the cat and then the kids told me that the conversation to follow this appearance was not going to be fun. "Mom, can we keep it? Look it is hungry. It is so friendly, see how she rubs against us begging to be petted?" Me: "NO! NO! WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER CAT!"
I did agree that they could give the cat some food but they had to find where it came from and return it to its owners.
Two days later it was still residing in the garage with several attempts to come into the house. Angel, my sweet lovely welcome  committee became a permanent fistrue by the backdoor with the constant growling and hissing of "Do you feel lucky? Well do ya?!" I was getting ready for the party we were having to celebrate spring and my graduation from NIC so the cat was the last thing I thought about except when he would try to whiz past me as I entered the house. My schildren assured me they had canvased a three block radius with no luck in finding the owners. This was followed by the pleading and promises of keeping and taking care of him. I loved the arguments of "we alreadey have 2 so one more won't be that big of a difference." They even gave her the name of Bella.
Finally my heart was weakening my stern stance and I found myself petting the cat. I decided to give it a thorough once over to see how badly it was beaten up. Imagine my surprise when the one of hte first things I discovered was that Bella was actually a Bill. I laughed and told the children the news. This led to the debate of what woudl be a good male name and soon Cole it became. The next step was letting him into the house.
I know tha ttemporary insanity had taken ahold of me for this could only lead to disaster considering Angel had been very vocal about her opinion of the possible newest addition. Sam, my daughter's STD cat, jus tbounced on Cole and then would walk away. He really was clueless about what was going to happen.
Cole walked into the house for hte first time, at least ot my knowledge, as if he was home. Immediately he  went to the food dish, ate, and then he headed to the litter box and left a nice present there. The next stop was to the couch where Angel was napping with one eye open. He jumped up; laid beside her; started purring loudly and fell asleep. The three human occupants wathced this with trepidation. Angel looked at him, closed both eyes and slept.
It was a miracle and a sign form Heaven that this cat was meant to be a part of our family. He was taken to the vet, all checked out to be healthy and he was already neutered. I feel sorry for ht family that lost this loving cat and yet grateful he is a part of ours. He has created a sense of peace amongst the other two cats. If Cole is around Angel will tolerate Sam. They all sleep together on my bed during the day. They all take turns at the food dish, with Cole eating last and Angel eating first; we have three dishes so ths is not necessary but funny to watch at times.
Until my granddaughter arrived my som said there was a balance of genders with three of each - I am afraid that he is plotting to bring home some male creature soon to reestablish the balance again.