Due to a dyslexic moment several months ago I am now dealing with the ramifications. I know that I need to be careful when I am entering numbers on the keyboard or any other time actually. I, however, did not triple check myself when registering for the Special Ed Praxis. 0354 should have been 0543 even the names are very similar. This has now caused me a night of very restless sleep, tears, prayers, and phone calls.
The people at the ets center can not help me and I was told to just show up and talk to the test administrators there and hope they have room for me and an extra test otherwise I forfeit my money and time.
I feel like a fool for double-triple checking this earlier. I have looked at my admissions ticket several times and when the Lord really opened my eyes I was grateful. I am ashamed though of how I first reacted and the feelings of self-anger I felt.
My wonderful daughter has spent time reminding me where I needed to place my faith, how I should react when He has given us trials and to remain calm. It has been amazing to watch her grow spiritually and have her as a reminder of to react with the Grace and faith He asks of us.
When she reminded me that this is just a small trail and that we will be facing many more as we get ready to start a new journey in a few months. These last few years I have faced many trials and become a stronger person spiritually because of them. I know that He is there for me giving me the strength and knowledge to keep going.
I need to let go of these feelings of discouragement and anxiety. Yes, I made a mistake but it can be corrected. I have the ability to overcome this and know that the journey He has placed me on is going to be fraught with many more trials but they are not to stop me but to take me where He wants me to be.
I will be there Saturday with papers in hand and a faith that this can rectified. I will continue to study and know that the knowledge is there.
The ranting is done along with the self-pity and anger. Thank you Lord.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Breakfast?Dinner?
I am trying to thing of a name for the meal that has breakfast items being served for dinner. Breakner? Dinfast? Supner? Hmmm, I think just Yummy will do for tonight.
We are having a treat for dinner tonight- biscuits and gravy (meatless) and scrambled eggs. I did not choose the menu my children did and they are excited. It is so funny how changing something as simple as when you serve a certain food item can make that food taste so much better. The family gets excited when I make pancakes for dinner or omelets. They even like it when they can have leftover pizza for breakfast; but then again who wouldn't?
At times change can be a good thing like changing meals but we all have experienced the times when change can create chaos. It seems that the closer it comes to trying to get things organized for moving the more chaos reigns. I am trying to find housing which is difficult due to finances being severely lacking when I student teach, not to mention I do not know where that will be exactly. There is also other issues like finding a part time job for me and my daughter, day care for the baby, etc. I know that this summer will be full of me driving around trying to get this all settled before the middle of August. I am trying not to let anxiety or fear even enter the picture. I am already filling out applications and making phone calls which is not easy to do when they ask certain questions that I honestly cannot answer. Some apartment places think I am nuts calling for a possible place in August. If anybody knows of some cheap places that are decent for rent in the Cd'A, Post Falls, Rathdrum area that might be available please let me know.
Well the alarm is sounding so must cook breakfast- wait the noise is the kids whining and it is dinner. Bon Appetite!
We are having a treat for dinner tonight- biscuits and gravy (meatless) and scrambled eggs. I did not choose the menu my children did and they are excited. It is so funny how changing something as simple as when you serve a certain food item can make that food taste so much better. The family gets excited when I make pancakes for dinner or omelets. They even like it when they can have leftover pizza for breakfast; but then again who wouldn't?
At times change can be a good thing like changing meals but we all have experienced the times when change can create chaos. It seems that the closer it comes to trying to get things organized for moving the more chaos reigns. I am trying to find housing which is difficult due to finances being severely lacking when I student teach, not to mention I do not know where that will be exactly. There is also other issues like finding a part time job for me and my daughter, day care for the baby, etc. I know that this summer will be full of me driving around trying to get this all settled before the middle of August. I am trying not to let anxiety or fear even enter the picture. I am already filling out applications and making phone calls which is not easy to do when they ask certain questions that I honestly cannot answer. Some apartment places think I am nuts calling for a possible place in August. If anybody knows of some cheap places that are decent for rent in the Cd'A, Post Falls, Rathdrum area that might be available please let me know.
Well the alarm is sounding so must cook breakfast- wait the noise is the kids whining and it is dinner. Bon Appetite!
Monday, April 25, 2011
free-writing
I have spent many minutes trying to think of something to write about. I do not want to whine about how tires I am from thinking so much (we all are feeling a need for a break I am sure). I do not want to admit that I had the hardest struggle today staying awake in a class today; the teacher asked e in front of the students if I enjoyed my cat nap. I thought I kept my eyes opened the whole time and apologized to him for failing. I could blame the change in the schedule, the exhausting weekend of taking care of the baby as she slowly recovered from her illness, staying up to watch the Hallmark movie about another inspirational teacher that inspired me to keep going. I could do all of these things but it seems senseless and really boring.
I could share my story that I am writing in second person that I am writing but this will be posted in the discussion area so that would be redundant.
I need to study for my special education praxis that I am taking this Saturday (OMG! that is in only five more days!) Okay I need to write something great and then hit the 5 inch manual to study for that test. Maybe while I am studying I will come across the information needed to write the IEP for a "student" that is ED and GT. I have no clue what to write for benchmarks. I know it would be wrong to write "stay alive" as an objective of one annual goal; the case study says he has attempted suicide twice.
I feel the meed to apologize for this little passage of nothingness. I call it freewriting for that is what it is a way to clear my mind so that I may move onto other things.
I was hoping to feel inspired to have a great idea to write as I was writing this but there seems to be too much clutter in the brain and this is it! I really need to create a list of topics someday to avoid this rambling on about nothing.
Here is hoping for better inspiration in the near future.
I could share my story that I am writing in second person that I am writing but this will be posted in the discussion area so that would be redundant.
I need to study for my special education praxis that I am taking this Saturday (OMG! that is in only five more days!) Okay I need to write something great and then hit the 5 inch manual to study for that test. Maybe while I am studying I will come across the information needed to write the IEP for a "student" that is ED and GT. I have no clue what to write for benchmarks. I know it would be wrong to write "stay alive" as an objective of one annual goal; the case study says he has attempted suicide twice.
I feel the meed to apologize for this little passage of nothingness. I call it freewriting for that is what it is a way to clear my mind so that I may move onto other things.
I was hoping to feel inspired to have a great idea to write as I was writing this but there seems to be too much clutter in the brain and this is it! I really need to create a list of topics someday to avoid this rambling on about nothing.
Here is hoping for better inspiration in the near future.
Friday, April 22, 2011
What a Tease
You play peek-a-boo behind the white fluffy covers, revealing the radiance of your warmth at random times. Are you afraid that with your long absence you won't be welcomed or is it that you like playing with us by slowly unveiling your prowess of exciting the world with your presence. Oh you tease, this brief glimpse of what we so desire to happen and then disappearing with no signs of a long visit.
The time of your arrival is overdue. Come out and stay for a visit. All will rejoice at your arrival. Dancing and singing will fill the air.
Brightness that shines as look upon us will blind many with a air of celebration. No! Don't hide or run away. We want you to stay. We need you to stay. Flowers will bloom, bees will buzz, leaves will blossom. It is time for you to come back to us. Warm up the breeze that is blowing. Fill the streams with the runoff of melting snow.
I am begging you to stop the teasing. Please kind one let us see you for a long stay. Warm us up and dry up the puddles form our tears that we have shed in your absence. You are a welcome stranger here today and every day.
We love you and miss you. These brief visits only make us ache for the days that you will once again grace with your presence.
We can still play a game or two on the occasional days that you need to rest but it is time to come back for that long awaited visit. The seasons are confused when you hide for so long. Things are a tilted askew. No more teasing that you are on your way. Shine down upon us with the glow of your love.
The white fluffy blanket you have been hiding behind has turned dingy gray again turning it to a cold day. Remember the glory days of seasons past when you set so late. We need you. Oh wait can it be the pleas have been heard. Yes I see you-wait! What a tease!
The time of your arrival is overdue. Come out and stay for a visit. All will rejoice at your arrival. Dancing and singing will fill the air.
Brightness that shines as look upon us will blind many with a air of celebration. No! Don't hide or run away. We want you to stay. We need you to stay. Flowers will bloom, bees will buzz, leaves will blossom. It is time for you to come back to us. Warm up the breeze that is blowing. Fill the streams with the runoff of melting snow.
I am begging you to stop the teasing. Please kind one let us see you for a long stay. Warm us up and dry up the puddles form our tears that we have shed in your absence. You are a welcome stranger here today and every day.
We love you and miss you. These brief visits only make us ache for the days that you will once again grace with your presence.
We can still play a game or two on the occasional days that you need to rest but it is time to come back for that long awaited visit. The seasons are confused when you hide for so long. Things are a tilted askew. No more teasing that you are on your way. Shine down upon us with the glow of your love.
The white fluffy blanket you have been hiding behind has turned dingy gray again turning it to a cold day. Remember the glory days of seasons past when you set so late. We need you. Oh wait can it be the pleas have been heard. Yes I see you-wait! What a tease!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
How do we do it?
I just had a conversation with one of my cohorts about all of that we have experienced recently with assignments seemingly overtaking our lives and the overloaded brain cells while trying to deal with the other parts of our lives. We all seem to have been given super human strength to be able to juggle the demands of research papers, chapter assignments, family, work, and hopefully some recreation to rejuvenate.
We offer support when we hear one of our cohorts sending out the distress call, we collaborate on assignments, and we all look at the gleam of light, representing the end, that is shining brighter as the days go by quickly.
Many of us find ourselves reflecting back on all that we have accomplished and wonder "How did I do it?" We are looking forward to being in a classroom again, together as a group of cohorts that can have real conversations and not just discussion posts. I know that since last summer I pull out my sheet that has all of the cohorts I am so fortunate to share this experience with and look at smiling faces knowing that all of us are amazing people with a common goal of wanting to be great educators that are gaining the knowledge to make a difference in so many lives. We have been able to commiserate together, sharing our frustrations and new knowledge of this experience.
For me when people ask "How did you do this?" I smile and say it was through the grace of God, the support of my family and friends, and knowing that my cohorts are there surviving the same thing. We have all learned how important collaboration is in the education field and this so true. We have learned together, supported each other in ways that we probably are unaware of.
I want to thank you all for what you have given me- the support, feedback and encouragement is priceless.
Even though we all know this summer is going to be another whirlwind of knowledge and brain overload the anticipation of this is so exciting.
Have any of you thought about what we can tell the new cohorts? Remember how we all sat there almost a year ago wondering what the summer would be like, hearing the others telling us it would be something we had probably never experienced before, thinking they were being a little too negative ( at least I did) and them having moments when I knew they were so right.
I know that this journey is not coming to an end but just taking a new fork in the road. What better travel mates to share it with.
We offer support when we hear one of our cohorts sending out the distress call, we collaborate on assignments, and we all look at the gleam of light, representing the end, that is shining brighter as the days go by quickly.
Many of us find ourselves reflecting back on all that we have accomplished and wonder "How did I do it?" We are looking forward to being in a classroom again, together as a group of cohorts that can have real conversations and not just discussion posts. I know that since last summer I pull out my sheet that has all of the cohorts I am so fortunate to share this experience with and look at smiling faces knowing that all of us are amazing people with a common goal of wanting to be great educators that are gaining the knowledge to make a difference in so many lives. We have been able to commiserate together, sharing our frustrations and new knowledge of this experience.
For me when people ask "How did you do this?" I smile and say it was through the grace of God, the support of my family and friends, and knowing that my cohorts are there surviving the same thing. We have all learned how important collaboration is in the education field and this so true. We have learned together, supported each other in ways that we probably are unaware of.
I want to thank you all for what you have given me- the support, feedback and encouragement is priceless.
Even though we all know this summer is going to be another whirlwind of knowledge and brain overload the anticipation of this is so exciting.
Have any of you thought about what we can tell the new cohorts? Remember how we all sat there almost a year ago wondering what the summer would be like, hearing the others telling us it would be something we had probably never experienced before, thinking they were being a little too negative ( at least I did) and them having moments when I knew they were so right.
I know that this journey is not coming to an end but just taking a new fork in the road. What better travel mates to share it with.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Kindergartener brings gun to Texas school, 3 hurt
http://headlines.verizon.com/headlines/portals/headlines.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=headlines_portal_page__article&_article=3414668
Here is the link to this very sad story. My first reaction was one of astonishment and then prayer before I even read the article. My heart poured out for the two students that were injured (not seriously thankfully) and also for the six year old that brought the gun.
I find myself wondering so many things about this child and his life. Why did he bring the gun? How did he even have access to the gun? Is he going to be okay?
The article talks about the possibility of sending him to an alternative school for 180 days but no other punishment has been decided. For me that is the furthest thing on my mind for I cannot help but thinking first of helping this young child with the issues that led to today's event.
It breaks my heart that at school these days in addition to fire drills we know practice lock-down drills. How as educators do we approach these types of situations to help prevent them from happening in the first place? I try to imagine myself as a teacher in this school and the discussion I know that I will have to have with my students. How can I assure them that this will not happen again in their lives? I can tell them the precautions we try to take at the school but will it be enough?
I look at my beautiful granddaughter and it scares me what type of precautions will schools be taking in the six short years until she starts attending. DO we need to have the security guards with metal detectors at the bus stops and doors? DO we do a pat down or have the technology that is being used at airports? All I keep thinking about for these students is that instead of being greeted by a smiling staff member at the door they are being frisked for weapons.
Am I discouraged- maybe but I will do everything in my power to assure that my students feel safe and secure but more importantly loved and know that I care and that violence is not the answer.
I really do not like sharing this type of bad news but this is not the first article I have read about instances such as this. I remember weeping and holding my two young children when Columbine happened, praying this would never happen again. Now it seems to hardly make the national news.
Here is the link to this very sad story. My first reaction was one of astonishment and then prayer before I even read the article. My heart poured out for the two students that were injured (not seriously thankfully) and also for the six year old that brought the gun.
I find myself wondering so many things about this child and his life. Why did he bring the gun? How did he even have access to the gun? Is he going to be okay?
The article talks about the possibility of sending him to an alternative school for 180 days but no other punishment has been decided. For me that is the furthest thing on my mind for I cannot help but thinking first of helping this young child with the issues that led to today's event.
It breaks my heart that at school these days in addition to fire drills we know practice lock-down drills. How as educators do we approach these types of situations to help prevent them from happening in the first place? I try to imagine myself as a teacher in this school and the discussion I know that I will have to have with my students. How can I assure them that this will not happen again in their lives? I can tell them the precautions we try to take at the school but will it be enough?
I look at my beautiful granddaughter and it scares me what type of precautions will schools be taking in the six short years until she starts attending. DO we need to have the security guards with metal detectors at the bus stops and doors? DO we do a pat down or have the technology that is being used at airports? All I keep thinking about for these students is that instead of being greeted by a smiling staff member at the door they are being frisked for weapons.
Am I discouraged- maybe but I will do everything in my power to assure that my students feel safe and secure but more importantly loved and know that I care and that violence is not the answer.
I really do not like sharing this type of bad news but this is not the first article I have read about instances such as this. I remember weeping and holding my two young children when Columbine happened, praying this would never happen again. Now it seems to hardly make the national news.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
It happens in 3's
While trying to decide what to write about for my blog today I found that the biggest decision was what did I want to title it. I seemed to have been torn between the self-pitying title of "Why Me?" or "My Terrible Weekend/ Hope yours was Better"
One of the things I have noticed when it comes to writing is that the title also seems to set the tone and capture the reader's attention. I do not know why this is for I have always been one to believe that you should not judge a book by its cover; forgive the cliche. However, lately it seems that when I am writing it is the title that sets the tone and content for my passage. Looking back it I have noticed that the titles and my blogs seem to lacking lately perhaps due to my feeling uninspired to write and burned out towards doing anything school related, as it seems are some of my cohorts. Hang in there we are almost there!
Okay back to this lovely weekend. I am trying not to have a BHPM day and take a lesson that a beautiful, gracious three month is teaching me this weekend.
My sweet little granddaughter has her first ear infection, double ear infection I should clarify. Now, if anyone reads this and has children we know that this condition can lead to crankiness and irritability for the baby and those trying to comfort the little one. My granddaughter is not the typical baby. One would never know she is not feeling well for she still wakes up smiling and cooing. She looks at me with those big blue eyes with wonderment and seems to be comforting me while I am fretting, along with her mother about her not eating and the diarrhea she is plagued with due to the medicine.
Her mother is also very ill and has just came back from a trip to the ER. Diagnosis bronchitis and fluid in the ear. She needs to take a lesson from her daughter for she is cranky and irritable. I would like to send her to bed instead of listening to her complain and cough all the time. Of course she does not appreciate me telling her this so I am trying ot be quiet and be nice by baking her cookies.
This of course leads to number three on the list of things that are not working well this weekend- my appliances. Well, actually my oven and dryer are the two appliances so far that are not working. My oven does not want to bake the cookies at 350 degrees ( the first batch was in the oven for 11 minutes and very done on the bottom and doughy on the top). I turned the oven up to 375 only to have them become crispy in 8 minutes. I need to call the landlord and hope that maybe in the next month he will return my call. The dryer is refusing to dry clothes. I have ran the same batch three times and they are still damp. I have several loads to do for I foolishly decided that the spring clothes needed to come out of the tote and the winter sweaters needed to be put away. This of course could be why it is snowing outside. (Sorry everyone I really thought it was spring outside.) I am hoping the laundry will be done by midnight at this rate.
Okay I know better than to have a BHPM attitude and am regretting not being able to go to church which is always a good cure for this malady. I have learned years ago to not ask "What else can go wrong?" for I am usually shown. Instead I will try my best to be gracious about these trial, take the lesson He is teaching from the smallest one in the family and go on with my day. I hope everyone had a good weekend and remember we only have a few weeks left of this semester.
BHPM= Boo Hoo Poor ME
One of the things I have noticed when it comes to writing is that the title also seems to set the tone and capture the reader's attention. I do not know why this is for I have always been one to believe that you should not judge a book by its cover; forgive the cliche. However, lately it seems that when I am writing it is the title that sets the tone and content for my passage. Looking back it I have noticed that the titles and my blogs seem to lacking lately perhaps due to my feeling uninspired to write and burned out towards doing anything school related, as it seems are some of my cohorts. Hang in there we are almost there!
Okay back to this lovely weekend. I am trying not to have a BHPM day and take a lesson that a beautiful, gracious three month is teaching me this weekend.
My sweet little granddaughter has her first ear infection, double ear infection I should clarify. Now, if anyone reads this and has children we know that this condition can lead to crankiness and irritability for the baby and those trying to comfort the little one. My granddaughter is not the typical baby. One would never know she is not feeling well for she still wakes up smiling and cooing. She looks at me with those big blue eyes with wonderment and seems to be comforting me while I am fretting, along with her mother about her not eating and the diarrhea she is plagued with due to the medicine.
Her mother is also very ill and has just came back from a trip to the ER. Diagnosis bronchitis and fluid in the ear. She needs to take a lesson from her daughter for she is cranky and irritable. I would like to send her to bed instead of listening to her complain and cough all the time. Of course she does not appreciate me telling her this so I am trying ot be quiet and be nice by baking her cookies.
This of course leads to number three on the list of things that are not working well this weekend- my appliances. Well, actually my oven and dryer are the two appliances so far that are not working. My oven does not want to bake the cookies at 350 degrees ( the first batch was in the oven for 11 minutes and very done on the bottom and doughy on the top). I turned the oven up to 375 only to have them become crispy in 8 minutes. I need to call the landlord and hope that maybe in the next month he will return my call. The dryer is refusing to dry clothes. I have ran the same batch three times and they are still damp. I have several loads to do for I foolishly decided that the spring clothes needed to come out of the tote and the winter sweaters needed to be put away. This of course could be why it is snowing outside. (Sorry everyone I really thought it was spring outside.) I am hoping the laundry will be done by midnight at this rate.
Okay I know better than to have a BHPM attitude and am regretting not being able to go to church which is always a good cure for this malady. I have learned years ago to not ask "What else can go wrong?" for I am usually shown. Instead I will try my best to be gracious about these trial, take the lesson He is teaching from the smallest one in the family and go on with my day. I hope everyone had a good weekend and remember we only have a few weeks left of this semester.
BHPM= Boo Hoo Poor ME
Friday, April 15, 2011
What do you want to be when you grow up?
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I want to be a ....
when I was younger I would have answered this question with the usual answers like most little girls...
a princess, a ballerina, a teacher.
Now I am a grown up and about to become a teacher.
It amazes me that a dream of some many years ago can finally come true and it scares me. It has been a struggle to get here I will not lie. I have spent many years in despair that it would never happen, yet happy that I was at least fortunate to work with kids. Now that it seems that the dream is almost coming true I find myself wondering if this is the right time for it to happen. The wordly ways of politics and other things that I cannot seem to comprehend at times are crashing down around all of us that want to teach. Education is becoming a business or so it seems. I cannot help but wonder if I can produce the product that is going to demanded from me . Maybe it is because I do not see children/ students as a something that can be assembled in an assembly line. Having them taught by computers. There are many things that scare me about the new reforms. At school/ work you feel the effects already and it weighs me down at times.
I want to be a teacher when I grow up! I want to teach children to explore all the possibilities using their strengths and building up their weaknesses. I want to get to know them as individuals, laugh with them and cry with them if need be. I want to high five them when they have a success, teach them right from wrong. Read books, write stories, sing songs off key, make art, and all the other things that will help us learn for m each other.
So what do I want ot be when I grow up?
A member of a noble profession - a teacher!
I want to be a ....
when I was younger I would have answered this question with the usual answers like most little girls...
a princess, a ballerina, a teacher.
Now I am a grown up and about to become a teacher.
It amazes me that a dream of some many years ago can finally come true and it scares me. It has been a struggle to get here I will not lie. I have spent many years in despair that it would never happen, yet happy that I was at least fortunate to work with kids. Now that it seems that the dream is almost coming true I find myself wondering if this is the right time for it to happen. The wordly ways of politics and other things that I cannot seem to comprehend at times are crashing down around all of us that want to teach. Education is becoming a business or so it seems. I cannot help but wonder if I can produce the product that is going to demanded from me . Maybe it is because I do not see children/ students as a something that can be assembled in an assembly line. Having them taught by computers. There are many things that scare me about the new reforms. At school/ work you feel the effects already and it weighs me down at times.
I want to be a teacher when I grow up! I want to teach children to explore all the possibilities using their strengths and building up their weaknesses. I want to get to know them as individuals, laugh with them and cry with them if need be. I want to high five them when they have a success, teach them right from wrong. Read books, write stories, sing songs off key, make art, and all the other things that will help us learn for m each other.
So what do I want ot be when I grow up?
A member of a noble profession - a teacher!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Do I Dare?
All the weeks of waiting and wondering were finally ended today when the results were posted. I just sat there staring at the screen for what seemed to be an eternity. My had frozen on the mouse, unable to make it move to words that dared me to click on them.
I knew that once I clicked on those blue words my fate could be changed temporarily. Did I dare take the chance here at work where a public display of emotions were not allowed. What if my worries came to be and I failed? Could I hold back the tears of disappointment in myself for not doing enough to be prepared? What if it was good news? Could I hold back the excitement and yelps for joy? Would those that I work with understand how difficult that day was and just what these results meant for me and my family?
Click on them- NO don't you can wait until this afternoon- Be strong! A few more hours won't kill you!
CLICK!
Okay just look - you can do this you are a grown woman with a grandchild.
Take a deep breathe- it has to be a mistake! Those numbers cannot be right - can they?
I passed!
Oh my gosh I passed!
Yes!
oops sorry-Guess what my friend I passed the test.
I want to scream but first I must give praise and thanks to the Lord!
"Thank you Lord! I am so grateful for your wisdom and guidance that day. We did it Lord! We did it Lord!"
I want to tell my daughter, my friends, my family.
I knew that once I clicked on those blue words my fate could be changed temporarily. Did I dare take the chance here at work where a public display of emotions were not allowed. What if my worries came to be and I failed? Could I hold back the tears of disappointment in myself for not doing enough to be prepared? What if it was good news? Could I hold back the excitement and yelps for joy? Would those that I work with understand how difficult that day was and just what these results meant for me and my family?
Click on them- NO don't you can wait until this afternoon- Be strong! A few more hours won't kill you!
CLICK!
Okay just look - you can do this you are a grown woman with a grandchild.
Take a deep breathe- it has to be a mistake! Those numbers cannot be right - can they?
I passed!
Oh my gosh I passed!
Yes!
oops sorry-Guess what my friend I passed the test.
I want to scream but first I must give praise and thanks to the Lord!
"Thank you Lord! I am so grateful for your wisdom and guidance that day. We did it Lord! We did it Lord!"
I want to tell my daughter, my friends, my family.
Monday, April 11, 2011
MONDAY
I find it amazing how one day of the week has perhaps the most negative connotation for so many people. To many Monday is the beginning of the work week or perhaps their school week, something they might not enjoy so therefore Monday becomes negative. I know that on Sunday evenings I can be heard whining about having to the next day being Monday for the same reason. It seems that know matter how nice the weather, or what great things may happen on a Monday just the mention of the word brings moans and groans from the majority.
I am slightly curious as to how it was decided that Monday became the day that we would begin the work/ school week with. It really does confuse people for technically Monday is the second day of the week with Sunday the beginning of the week. Of course I like the idea of starting my week attending church and worshipping the Lord.
When we teach children calendars (days of the week etc,) they do seem confused for Sunday is considered part of the "weekend" meaning the week is ending not starting and they have learned to associate Monday as the beginning of the week.
Mondays have been sung about as the day that "always get people down."
But still I must ask how it started that Monday became such a negative day. we all enjoy the weekend - well at least when we had weekends now people call the weekend whatever days off they may have, and when somebody talks about going back to work or school it is called their "Monday" .
I think we should start celebrating Mondays like we do Fridays!
Kidding Monday is just a day like any other day and I do feel bad about being so negative about it. I do admit though I like Fridays better.
I am slightly curious as to how it was decided that Monday became the day that we would begin the work/ school week with. It really does confuse people for technically Monday is the second day of the week with Sunday the beginning of the week. Of course I like the idea of starting my week attending church and worshipping the Lord.
When we teach children calendars (days of the week etc,) they do seem confused for Sunday is considered part of the "weekend" meaning the week is ending not starting and they have learned to associate Monday as the beginning of the week.
Mondays have been sung about as the day that "always get people down."
But still I must ask how it started that Monday became such a negative day. we all enjoy the weekend - well at least when we had weekends now people call the weekend whatever days off they may have, and when somebody talks about going back to work or school it is called their "Monday" .
I think we should start celebrating Mondays like we do Fridays!
Kidding Monday is just a day like any other day and I do feel bad about being so negative about it. I do admit though I like Fridays better.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
sunshine in a jar
A good friend of mine is doing a lot of traveling to warm sunny places this spring. I will admit I am a bit envious while I sit here in the this dreary weather. I have always wanted to away places and explore locations that I have heard about. Sadly, due to economic circumstances and tie constraints that dream is still on hold.
Every time she leaves I always as her to bring me back a jar of sunshine. Laughing at me (like I am crazy) she leaves and fails to bring me back a jar of sunshine. I asked her why the other day as we were conversing about her next trip she is taking next week. She replied she simply did not know how to capture sunshine in a jar. So I made her a jar; delivered it to her yesterday as we visited.
The jar is simply a Mason jar decorated with flowers, jewels, and hearts. It made her smile as she looked at it. Then she looked at me inquisitively and asked "Now what? What am I suppose to put in it?"
"Sunshine!" I replied.
We both laughed. I explained that I wanted her to put little things in there from the ports she was visiting on her cruise. Things that make her smile for her smile is my sunshine.
The jar is being packed and I cannot wait to see what she collects in it.
The surprise is that she is going to get to keep the jar or I should say her four year old son will so that they have something to remember the trip.
I already received my sunshine and that is her love and friendship.
Bon Voyage my sweet friend.
Every time she leaves I always as her to bring me back a jar of sunshine. Laughing at me (like I am crazy) she leaves and fails to bring me back a jar of sunshine. I asked her why the other day as we were conversing about her next trip she is taking next week. She replied she simply did not know how to capture sunshine in a jar. So I made her a jar; delivered it to her yesterday as we visited.
The jar is simply a Mason jar decorated with flowers, jewels, and hearts. It made her smile as she looked at it. Then she looked at me inquisitively and asked "Now what? What am I suppose to put in it?"
"Sunshine!" I replied.
We both laughed. I explained that I wanted her to put little things in there from the ports she was visiting on her cruise. Things that make her smile for her smile is my sunshine.
The jar is being packed and I cannot wait to see what she collects in it.
The surprise is that she is going to get to keep the jar or I should say her four year old son will so that they have something to remember the trip.
I already received my sunshine and that is her love and friendship.
Bon Voyage my sweet friend.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Ode to a Nap
It beckons me from afar
The couch with its fluffy pillows
the afghan crocheted by Grandma.
The chores need to be done
It is only midday.
Yawnnnnnnnnnnn
I must resist the temptation
Oh if only I could just lie down
Yes, just a short rest -
close the eyes and shut down the mind,
the T.V turned down low to diffuse the outside noise
No I must resist!
There is so much to do
The world is spinning
The bones are groaning.
Just a short rest won't harm
There will still be time later on
MMMMMM yes this is the spot
Eyes are heavy
The blanket comfy warm
Oh how refreshed I will feel in a few
Phone rings,
baby cries,
idea for assignment finally comes.
The nap is no longer
Oh how I longed
Only six more hours and the day will be done!
The couch with its fluffy pillows
the afghan crocheted by Grandma.
The chores need to be done
It is only midday.
Yawnnnnnnnnnnn
I must resist the temptation
Oh if only I could just lie down
Yes, just a short rest -
close the eyes and shut down the mind,
the T.V turned down low to diffuse the outside noise
No I must resist!
There is so much to do
The world is spinning
The bones are groaning.
Just a short rest won't harm
There will still be time later on
MMMMMM yes this is the spot
Eyes are heavy
The blanket comfy warm
Oh how refreshed I will feel in a few
Phone rings,
baby cries,
idea for assignment finally comes.
The nap is no longer
Oh how I longed
Only six more hours and the day will be done!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Anniversary of Freedom from Bondage
Five years ago I say in the courtroom, an empty shell, under the threats that he had made that morning. I kept my mouth shut as promised, letting him strip me of the possessions I no longer treasured. All I wanted was to be free and my children, but I had even compromised on those. The judge looked at me with confusion asking time and time again if this is what I agreed to as he read over the final papers. I could not speak but mumbled my compliance. After it was all done and I left the building I knew it was not over and the overwhelming dread was setting in.
I drove to a friend's house, knowing she was not there and cried; no sobbed. The fear, grief, and anger seemed to overwhelm me. I was alone, no home, no marriage, nothing including myself. He had finally won! He was home making the wedding plans and I was sitting in a van that was not even mine but given to me out of the graciousness of a man that knew the cost was more than I could handle.
After spending hours crying, raving at what I thought was an unjust God (please forgive me!) I drove aimlessly for hours with nowhere to go. I couldn't even see my kids that day for he was scheduled to have this week while I waited for the miracle of having a home to happen. How I could let this happen? When did I stop existing? After the years of being told I was a nothing I realized that is what I had tried to become- a nothing. I went to work at my job that night, smiling at the customers, hoping that time would just stop so I did not have to go back to that house and pretend that I was all right. My son would be there but so would he. Our daughter was due home tomorrow and that facade of a happy divorce would have to continue. Would he just go to his room and be on the phone with her or would spend the night torturing me with that victorious look as he continued to put me in my place and remind me how I should be so grateful that he was still allowing me to be there.
It took months - years to finally recover from this day that happened five years ago. I am so grateful to the Lord for showing me that it was not the end but the beginning of a victorious life full of love and triumph. I am somebody! I have more riches than I can ever count. I am still discovering things about myself with this freedom.
Yes I am somebody-I am Carrie! A woman with a bright future, a wonderful family, friends, and a God that has enriched my life in faith.
Happy Anniversary!
I drove to a friend's house, knowing she was not there and cried; no sobbed. The fear, grief, and anger seemed to overwhelm me. I was alone, no home, no marriage, nothing including myself. He had finally won! He was home making the wedding plans and I was sitting in a van that was not even mine but given to me out of the graciousness of a man that knew the cost was more than I could handle.
After spending hours crying, raving at what I thought was an unjust God (please forgive me!) I drove aimlessly for hours with nowhere to go. I couldn't even see my kids that day for he was scheduled to have this week while I waited for the miracle of having a home to happen. How I could let this happen? When did I stop existing? After the years of being told I was a nothing I realized that is what I had tried to become- a nothing. I went to work at my job that night, smiling at the customers, hoping that time would just stop so I did not have to go back to that house and pretend that I was all right. My son would be there but so would he. Our daughter was due home tomorrow and that facade of a happy divorce would have to continue. Would he just go to his room and be on the phone with her or would spend the night torturing me with that victorious look as he continued to put me in my place and remind me how I should be so grateful that he was still allowing me to be there.
It took months - years to finally recover from this day that happened five years ago. I am so grateful to the Lord for showing me that it was not the end but the beginning of a victorious life full of love and triumph. I am somebody! I have more riches than I can ever count. I am still discovering things about myself with this freedom.
Yes I am somebody-I am Carrie! A woman with a bright future, a wonderful family, friends, and a God that has enriched my life in faith.
Happy Anniversary!
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