reminders

I have been remiss about writing on this spot faithfully as promised to myself; mainly because lately I have been lost in pity and fear. This is something that I thought I would never allow myself to do after some of the great Bible study classes I have taken recently. I have learned how allowing myself to do so sends me into a downward spiral and I become even more self-involved instead of dying to myself and allowing Him to fill me.
I cried at work today and contemplated my future and the decisions I have made over the last few years. I have made many sacrifices although now they do not seem so great. I have worked hard, studied until it felt like my brain was going to explode, and conquered many battles personally. With most of this behind me I ind myself wondering why I am letting a few more battles get to me. Is it I am just tired or am I really making some wrong choices concerning my life?
I was asked recently my plans for next school year and my job-silly me I was honest and said that I hoped to be student teaching and that there was a possibility that it would be somewhere else. OOPS! This has caused so many problems and pressure. The end result after threats and trying to be forced to give a definite answer that I honestly cannot give -"Your position has eliminated and you are being terminated at the end of this school year unless you definitely say you are not leaving to student teach. You will still not be at this school but we will try to place you somewhere else. Oh and you are losing your insurance as of June."
The job is going to be missed for sure but the insurance even more.
But what reminded me to stop the pity party and have the faith I know I am so sinning in not having was reading a classmates post about God saving her sister and unborn child. Thank you for this. I could have gone to church tonight and feel that the words would not have had as much of an impact as this story. So I will try to quit whining -No I will quit whining and throwing a BHPM party.
I will place my fears and doubts where they belong and walk amongst these days knowing that with His help all will happen for a reason.